New Years’ Day symbolizes new beginnings for most people. The past is left to the past and the promise of better days lies ahead. We flip the page on our calendar and literally start over from day one. Those who lost a loved one in 2020 use a more simple calendar: Before and After.

On New Years’ Day most people promise change, set goals and make resolutions. Common New Year’s resolutions include losing weight, quitting a bad habit or working toward advancement at work. Resolutions like those may seem trivial to those in mourning. But if you’re bereaved, you can still reach for the promise of better days by setting goals that allow you to heal. Healthy New Year’s resolutions for the recently bereaved include:

• Be patient with your grief
• Join a grief support group
• Plan for anniversaries and milestones that your loved one will not share with you in 2020
• Let go of guilt
• Reach out to friends and loved ones to share your pain
• Take time to care for yourself
• Say your loved one’s name
• Take things one day at a time; one moment at a time

In the coming year, mourners have to define what their new normal will look like. It is not easy to move forward while your heart remains in the past. Grief never really ends—but it can get better. You will be reminded throughout the year of your loved one. Let that memory encourage you to heal, to better yourself and to carry on with your resolutions.

Happy New Year! Have a blessed 2021.